TALES OF SORROW #3


The Inevitable Hollow

Kadang saya merasa bahwa hidup saya adalah cerita yang dinarasikan oleh sesuatu yang lain namun masih satu kesatuan dengan diri saya.  Berbeda dengan My name is red-nya Orhan pamuk yang narasikan oleh seonggok mayat, sesuatu tersebut entah bagaimana terasa hidup, kadang lebih hidup dari diri saya yang ini. Tidak semua sosok lahir dari proses biologis. Ada yang berasal dari endapan perasaan yang semakin lama semakin menggumpal kemudian menjadi sesuatu yang hidup, memiliki suara, dan tinggal menginang di suatu tempat di dalam diri kita. Dan untuk tetap hidup dia perlahan memakan kesadaran. 

Dia, yang sunyi namun riuh.


Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted
In my brain still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light that split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share and no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

Fools said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the signs said, 'The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls and tenement halls'
And whispered in the sounds of silence


(Sounds of silence - Simon and Garfunkel)

The July Obituaries


When I die
-Rumi

when my coffin
is being taken out
you must never think
i am missing this world

don’t shed any tears
don’t lament or
feel sorry
i’m not falling
into a monster’s abyss

when you see
my corpse is being carried
don’t cry for my leaving
i’m not leaving
i’m arriving at eternal love

when you leave me
in the grave
don’t say goodbye
remember a grave is
only a curtain
for the paradise behind

you’ll only see me
descending into a grave
now watch me rise
how can there be an end
when the sun sets or
the moon goes down

it looks like the end
it seems like a sunset
but in reality it is a dawn
when the grave locks you up
that is when your soul is freed

have you ever seen
a seed fallen to earth
not rise with a new life
why should you doubt the rise
of a seed named human

have you ever seen
a bucket lowered into a well
coming back empty
why lament for a soul
when it can come back
like Joseph from the well

when for the last time
you close your mouth
your words and soul
will belong to the world of
no place no time.

--
3 Obituaries in July. Isn't it weird how sometimes stranger death affected your life in a surprising way?
 



Vincent, it's astonishing how sometimes i see  that sorrow is strangely beautiful.
 It makes me feel empty and fulfilled at the same time.

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